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    July 20

    怎么办?

    都说开始后再结束比还没有开始过更痛苦,但我怎么觉得没开始我更痛苦呢?在经历了几次感情上的失败之后,原以为我是不会再爱上任何人了,直到遇见了她。连我自己也说不清楚这个女孩身上有什么魔力,能让我如此不顾一切的去追求她。也许是她之前那段受伤的经历让我有了同病相怜的感觉。让我有了一种想去保护和照顾她不再受伤害的冲动。所以,当她对我说她不能答应我,给不了我想要的爱时,我才会有这种心痛的感觉。夜已深,但我仍然无法入睡,闭上眼,大脑里浮现的全是她的身影。想到我对她第一次表白时,她用被子捂住脸那羞涩的样子;想到她喝醉了躺在床上那难受的样子;想到她拒绝我之后跑到天台上痛哭时那颤抖的背影;想到她吻我时在我耳边不停的说对不起时的无奈;也想到她生日那天靠在我身上对我说很开心时甜蜜的样子......这一切的一切,让我如此困惑,她究竟是有根本不愿意接受我,还是对我的考验呢?我究竟该怎么办?是继续执着着我的爱,让她接受我还是就此罢手不给她太大的压力?

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